lswing
March 25th, 2014, 00:54
Seems our European pals have a sense of humor, some funny stuff in here...
1. Photos or it didn’t happen/doesn’t exist
2. It is perfectly acceptable for a new member to receive “F*ck off n00b” in reply to their first post. This may be abbreviated to FON if you are in a hurry. ADDENDUM: Must only be offered with warm welcomes of affection, 'coz we don't really mean it.
3. Any girl that drives an Audi is automatically 5% hotter than her non-Audi driving equivalent, this percentage increases exponentially with the addition of S, RS and R badge designations. By this rational, Susan Boyle would be a perfect 10 if she drove the Audi R18, thank f*ck that’ll never happen
4. Porsche 911s will now be simply referred to as “Porkers”
5. A new female member must receive at least 3 pages of ‘welcomes’ (FON optional), this exercise is too prove our manhood and reinforce rule 3
6. There are no other rants after the Cornishmoocher. i.e. The Cornishmoocher rant is final
7. The Audi 5pot will always place in the top 10 "Best engines of all time"
8. Audi dealers will now be referred to as “stealers”
9. The wider the better
10. Caps Lock is only permitted when you are angry, when you are speaking in acronyms or twice a year on the designated Caps Lock days; October 22 and June 28
11. There will be no more mention of the “C” word in the B7 forum
12. Everyone shall receive a man card, it is your duty to regard this man card in high repute, drawing parallels between yourself and anything short of manly will lead to a forfeit of your man card, thereafter, you will be known as princess. ADDENDUM: A picture of a handbag will sufficiently override any valid point the princess attempts to establish against a man card carrying member
13. Non-res for the win
14. Resonated for those without man cards
15. Posting links to a Wikipedia article about a m*n getting b*mmed by a h*rse constitutes totally acceptable behaviour
16. Doug will only answer 1 in 10 questions asked on the forum
17. Women w*nk more than men
18. Quattro is king
19. There’s no replacement for displacement
20. If you have a problem either fix it yourself with help from the forum or contact Unit20 or MRC
21. Where there are two girls, one cup will not be far away
22. Plead the 22nd. Invoke this rule if you do not want to play by these rules anymore. Once invoked, this rule can be used against you because you find the rules too hard or not to your liking
23. The Southern convoy will always be bigger than the Northern convoy
24. The Southern Rolling road day will always manshame the Northern Rolling road day, prison style
25. The "recommended dose" is only for non-card carrying members
26. The OP is a c*nt
27. If you excel at <beep> stirring, the Cornishmoocher shall issue onto thee, a “<beep> Stirrers Convention International Officer” card, only the Cornishmoocher may revoke this card
28. 10 inches may be achieved via 2 inch intervals at a minimum of 5 pumps
29. If something is good, great or worthy, it shall attract the respectful comment "...all day long"
30. 20+MPG = unacceptable 12-19MPG = try harder 2-11MPG = acceptable
31. At the wheel horse power (WHP) is equal to using a penis pump, it's not bigger and it's not clever. Stop it.
32. All horses shall be broken
33. Until further notice, "Shell V-Power" shall appear written as "V-Bastard"
34. Roadsters are gay until proven otherwise
35. 700BHP is the new 400BHP
36. At least one gear shall be dropped for every tunnel traveled
37. Being caught off-boost is the on-road equivalent of getting caught mid-masturbation
38. DK shall always install a Miltek and an RNS-E shortly before selling his newly acquired Audi
38a.DK is a car slaaaaaag
39. No Galah shall be left unflaming
40. Holden over Ford, Audi over BMW, Lamborghini over Ferrari, EVO over WRX
41. No man has EVER curbed his wheels, it has always occurred due extraneous situations completely out of his control, OR, his 'ho curbed his wheels
42. The C5 RS alternator has a half-life of 3 years
43. (Bugged out eyes) is the best Emoticon
44. Bridgestone tyres shall now be known as Tombstone(s) tyres. During the transition of re-branding, they may appear written as BridgeTombstone(s)
45. Amanda1 shall be known as "Cryptic" until further notice
46. Tango'd front lights shall now be referred to as "Yankee Lanterns"</beep></beep>
1. Photos or it didn’t happen/doesn’t exist
2. It is perfectly acceptable for a new member to receive “F*ck off n00b” in reply to their first post. This may be abbreviated to FON if you are in a hurry. ADDENDUM: Must only be offered with warm welcomes of affection, 'coz we don't really mean it.
3. Any girl that drives an Audi is automatically 5% hotter than her non-Audi driving equivalent, this percentage increases exponentially with the addition of S, RS and R badge designations. By this rational, Susan Boyle would be a perfect 10 if she drove the Audi R18, thank f*ck that’ll never happen
4. Porsche 911s will now be simply referred to as “Porkers”
5. A new female member must receive at least 3 pages of ‘welcomes’ (FON optional), this exercise is too prove our manhood and reinforce rule 3
6. There are no other rants after the Cornishmoocher. i.e. The Cornishmoocher rant is final
7. The Audi 5pot will always place in the top 10 "Best engines of all time"
8. Audi dealers will now be referred to as “stealers”
9. The wider the better
10. Caps Lock is only permitted when you are angry, when you are speaking in acronyms or twice a year on the designated Caps Lock days; October 22 and June 28
11. There will be no more mention of the “C” word in the B7 forum
12. Everyone shall receive a man card, it is your duty to regard this man card in high repute, drawing parallels between yourself and anything short of manly will lead to a forfeit of your man card, thereafter, you will be known as princess. ADDENDUM: A picture of a handbag will sufficiently override any valid point the princess attempts to establish against a man card carrying member
13. Non-res for the win
14. Resonated for those without man cards
15. Posting links to a Wikipedia article about a m*n getting b*mmed by a h*rse constitutes totally acceptable behaviour
16. Doug will only answer 1 in 10 questions asked on the forum
17. Women w*nk more than men
18. Quattro is king
19. There’s no replacement for displacement
20. If you have a problem either fix it yourself with help from the forum or contact Unit20 or MRC
21. Where there are two girls, one cup will not be far away
22. Plead the 22nd. Invoke this rule if you do not want to play by these rules anymore. Once invoked, this rule can be used against you because you find the rules too hard or not to your liking
23. The Southern convoy will always be bigger than the Northern convoy
24. The Southern Rolling road day will always manshame the Northern Rolling road day, prison style
25. The "recommended dose" is only for non-card carrying members
26. The OP is a c*nt
27. If you excel at <beep> stirring, the Cornishmoocher shall issue onto thee, a “<beep> Stirrers Convention International Officer” card, only the Cornishmoocher may revoke this card
28. 10 inches may be achieved via 2 inch intervals at a minimum of 5 pumps
29. If something is good, great or worthy, it shall attract the respectful comment "...all day long"
30. 20+MPG = unacceptable 12-19MPG = try harder 2-11MPG = acceptable
31. At the wheel horse power (WHP) is equal to using a penis pump, it's not bigger and it's not clever. Stop it.
32. All horses shall be broken
33. Until further notice, "Shell V-Power" shall appear written as "V-Bastard"
34. Roadsters are gay until proven otherwise
35. 700BHP is the new 400BHP
36. At least one gear shall be dropped for every tunnel traveled
37. Being caught off-boost is the on-road equivalent of getting caught mid-masturbation
38. DK shall always install a Miltek and an RNS-E shortly before selling his newly acquired Audi
38a.DK is a car slaaaaaag
39. No Galah shall be left unflaming
40. Holden over Ford, Audi over BMW, Lamborghini over Ferrari, EVO over WRX
41. No man has EVER curbed his wheels, it has always occurred due extraneous situations completely out of his control, OR, his 'ho curbed his wheels
42. The C5 RS alternator has a half-life of 3 years
43. (Bugged out eyes) is the best Emoticon
44. Bridgestone tyres shall now be known as Tombstone(s) tyres. During the transition of re-branding, they may appear written as BridgeTombstone(s)
45. Amanda1 shall be known as "Cryptic" until further notice
46. Tango'd front lights shall now be referred to as "Yankee Lanterns"</beep></beep>