General fun thread

[itisme]

I introduce a general fun thread, so everyone can post something to laugh at without opening a new one ;)... may be this thread is becoming sticky

so here's my first one :D... I laughed my ass off ;)

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/wXmKn21xDdU&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/wXmKn21xDdU&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

[Phage]

Well here is a modern classic from youtube. Don't know how many of you have seen this allready but here goes anyway. :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go

Also a great daily cartoon site with a lot of dry humor. ( give the top 10 a look )
http://www.wulffmorgenthaler.com

PS.

How do you post a youtube movie on here?

[itisme]

PS.

How do you post a youtube movie on here?

thats very simple, just copy everything in the box right to the video where "embed" is written and paste it in your post.


that Achmed the terrorist video is brilliant :D:D:D.. great


that used to be a BMW E30

http://images.paultan.org/uploads/2007/03/e30_346_e60.jpg

[KarlMarx]

:MTM:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJuNgBkloFE&feature=related:MTM: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJuNgBkloFE&feature=related)

[itisme]

OMG.. didn't know I'm living on the axle of evil

but you know.. if the half of it is real, than it's much... you know. TV and Radio film what they want, maybe 100 gave a correct answer and 5 not.. they'll only show the five.. the others are not spectecular enough.

well and every country has some with not much general knowledge

but it is entertaining :D...

[KarlMarx]

I agree - every country will have people like that...but it is funny!

[Leadfoot]

This is for all you guys out therewho happen to have a cold and your woman won't listen.

Man_Flu (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EElqrgk4N0)

:cheers:

[Audifan92]

This is funny
Its called spiders on drugs

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="<A href="http://www.youtube.com/v/sHzdsFiBbFc&rel=1"></param><param">http://www.youtube.com/v/sHzdsFiBbFc&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/sHzdsFiBbFc&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

[Audifan92]

damn...
sorry that didnt work
Heres the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc

[florin08]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBf9YHpaUZ8

It`s from my country , in the south (people aren`t so smart there) . I do not know whether i should cry or laugh, but :doh::doh::doh::doh::doh::doh:

[KarlMarx]

Speechless...

[Erik]

Oooops!

http://fragg.net/video/rally-loeb-policeman

[JavierNuvolari]

WOW!! that was close!!

[itisme]

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/34f15xeqjw8&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/34f15xeqjw8&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

pretty cool....

[KarlMarx]

Those boys sure drank a lot of cola!

[itisme]

Those boys sure drank a lot of cola!

they sure did :D...


similar:

http://www.myvideo.de/watch/3025609

[Leadfoot]

If you have never seen this before it is really and truly priceless. Enjoy.

The_Greatest_Prank_Call_Ever (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI)

:bow:

Here's another great one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0TxfwB3BWQ&feature=related

[bober3]

this is so funny http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=YEv6i-lhIWc

[Leadfoot]

The title says it all.

This_takes_real_skill (http://s258.photobucket.com/player.swf?refURL=/&file=http://vid258.photobucket.com/albums/hh269/Footlead/NOWTHISTAKESSKILL.flv&fs=1&os=1&ap=1)

:bow: if it's true and :lovl: if it's not.

[cornishmoocher]

Why cant I upload a wmv clip?

Can anyone tell this technophobe how to do it?

have tried cut and paste and the upload attachment, but does not want to take it. Arse.

[The RS6]

Why cant I upload a wmv clip?

Can anyone tell this technophobe how to do it?

have tried cut and paste and the upload attachment, but does not want to take it. Arse.

You cannot upload a WMV Clip to this forum, valid extensions for this forum are: bmp gif jpeg jpg pdf

But, if you have a funny clip, first make sure it's not already posted on <a href=http://www.youtube.com/>Youtube</a> (try searching the site), then if not, upload it over there and then just paste the link over here...

:thumb:

[cornishmoocher]

Cheers man!

Laff i nearly purchased a merc, but I didn't!!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-ogrMr4lWc

[Leadfoot]

In case it was my clip which wasn't working here it is again.

http://s258.photobucket.com/player.swf?refURL=/&file=http://vid258.photobucket.com/albums/hh269/Footlead/NOWTHISTAKESSKILL.flv&fs=1&os=1&ap=1

[JavierNuvolari]

The title says it all.

This_takes_real_skill (http://s258.photobucket.com/player.swf?refURL=/&file=http://vid258.photobucket.com/albums/hh269/Footlead/NOWTHISTAKESSKILL.flv&fs=1&os=1&ap=1)

:bow: if it's true and :lovl: if it's not.


Good one :thumb: :hihi:

[cornishmoocher]

In case it was my clip which wasn't working here it is again.

http://s258.photobucket.com/player.swf?refURL=/&file=http://vid258.photobucket.com/albums/hh269/Footlead/NOWTHISTAKESSKILL.flv&fs=1&os=1&ap=1 (http://s258.photobucket.com/player.swf?refURL=/&file=http://vid258.photobucket.com/albums/hh269/Footlead/NOWTHISTAKESSKILL.flv&fs=1&os=1&ap=1)

Wernt you, It was me being a numpty, but my clip is up there now, thanks to someone telling me in big slow letters how to do it!:confused: :confused:

[Erik]

http://imagechan.com/img/4082/

[Erik]

Best day ever!

http://www.steakandablowjobday.com/

[Erik]

No onen home?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAMA9P-4qCk

[Erik]

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/geronimo.gif

[Erik]

Interesting

http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/

[Carl Lassiter]

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/geronimo.gif

Labrador got owned. The other dog running (gt dane?) is a beaut so glad it didn't get hurt by the antics of the dumb blonde

[Carl Lassiter]

The title says it all.

This_takes_real_skill (http://s258.photobucket.com/player.swf?refURL=/&file=http://vid258.photobucket.com/albums/hh269/Footlead/NOWTHISTAKESSKILL.flv&fs=1&os=1&ap=1)

:bow: if it's true and :lovl: if it's not.

Fake like the Ronaldinho clip hitting the cross bar at the camp Nou but still pretty cool until the ending which is gross.

[Erik]

Bad time to fart

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=z4gK3RRtCHw


Underwater :D
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-vMdlTgNjU&NR

[Erik]

Cats can too

http://www.kossan.se/roliga-filmer/katt_hoppar_upp_i_takflaekt.htm

[Erik]

LOL! (repost)

http://cache.valleywag.com/assets/resources/screenclean.swf

[Erik]

Hmmm...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0bMn-m2DdQ

[Erik]

The ridiculous moments in football

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPaViDqPFM4

[Erik]

The cable drum :D :D

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2008/cable-roll-crashes-through-door-p1.php

[The RS6]

Human beatbox :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJuC3ybnCG8

[Erik]

The New Citroën C5 - Unmistakeably German
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMQnPWjK5pE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw6SvXI4P-4&feature=related

[JavierNuvolari]

BWAHAHAHAHA....LOL...
good ones, thanks for keeping the thread updated Erik.

[Benman]

Here's another:

Fifty Years of Math in the USA 1957 - 2007

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for
$1.58. The countergirl took my $2 and I was digging
for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and
gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel
and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her
register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell
her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the
manager for help. While he tried to explain the
transaction to her, she stood there and cried.

Why do I tell you this?

Because of the evolution in teaching math since the
1950s. As an example, a simple arithmetic problem to
be solved:

1. Teaching Math In 1950s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His
cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his
profit ?

2. Teaching Math In 1960s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100 His cost
of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his
profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His
cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His
cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your
assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is
selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the
habitat of animals or the preservation of our
woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of
$20. What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the
question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the
logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong
answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok. )

6. Teaching Math In 2007
Un hachero vende una carretada de made rapara $100. El
costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha
hecho?

:applause:

Ben:addict:

[Lateknight]

Fifty year of Math(s)

:applause: excellent.

Its the same over here in UK, except 2007 would be in Polish not Spanish.

[JavierNuvolari]

Here's another:

Fifty Years of Math in the USA 1957 - 2007


6. Teaching Math In 2007
Un hachero vende una carretada de made rapara $100. El
costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha
hecho?

:applause:

Ben:addict:

BWAHAHAHA.....LOL:cheers:

[Benman]

Its the same over here in UK, except 2007 would be in Polish not Spanish.:applause: :applause:

Ben:addict:

[goodduck]

so in 2007 the math is as rigourous as in 1950 and we are bilingual?

[gjg]

Fifty year of Math(s)

:applause: excellent.

Its the same over here in UK, except 2007 would be in Polish not Spanish.

Ah thought the russian would be the leading language in the City ... :hihi:

[gjg]

Here's one I thought you would enjoy and like to pass on to a few people.

A man walks into a bar... He sees a good-looking, smartly dressed woman sitting on the bar stool.
He walks up behind her and says, "Hi there; how's it going?"
Having already had a few drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, "Listen! I'll screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my place; it doesn't matter."
He says, "No kidding! I'm a lawyer too! What firm are you with?"

:blush:

[gjg]

An Important Energy Savings Statistic


A 2006 study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found that Americans drink an average of 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles per gallon."

:cheers:

[Benman]

:applause: :applause:

Good ones!:applause:

Ben:addict:

[Mockenrue]

A young blonde Portsmouth girl, down on her luck, decided to end it all one night by casting herself into the cold, dark waters off Gunwharf Quay.
As she stood on the edge, pondering the infinite, a young sailor noticed her as he strolled by. "You're not thinking of jumping, are you babes?" he asked.

"Yes, I am." replied the sobbing girl.

Putting his arm around her, the kind sailor coaxed her back from the edge. "Look, nothing's worth that. .... I'll tell you what, I'm sailing off for A<?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:country-region w:st="on">ustralia</st1:country-region> tomorrow. Why don't you stow away on board and start a new life over there? I'll set you up in one of the lifeboats on the deck, bring you food and water every night and I'll look after you if you look after me - if you know what I mean? You just have to keep very quiet so that you won't be found."

The girl, having no better prospects, agreed, and the sailor sneaked her on board that very night. For the next 3 weeks the sailor came to her lifeboat every night, bringing food and water, and making love to her until dawn.

Then, during the fourth week, the captain was performing a routine inspection of the ship and its lifeboats. He peeled back the cover to find the startled blonde, and demanded an explanation.

The girl came clean, "I've stowed away to get to <st1:country-region w:st="on"><ST1:pAustrali</ST1:pa</st1:country-region>. One of the sailors is helping me out. He set me up in here and brings me food and water every night and he's screwing me."

The captain stared at her for a moment before he replied,


















"He certainly is love. This is the Isle of Wight Ferry."

[Erik]

Self goal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TpVbkYUNm4

[Damienr8]

Self goal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TpVbkYUNm4

Wow that sucks LOLZ

[Erik]

http://xs226.xs.to/xs226/08142/wtf044520.jpg

[Leadfoot]

That guy has serious issues and an addiction to all things performance related.

[Erik]

Post it, when you easily forget

http://i1.tinypic.com/821o0vc.jpg

[JavierNuvolari]

HAHAHA, the last post it joke is good...really good.

[gjg]

Once again discrimination rears its ugly head!<O:p</O:p
<O:p</O:p

Will it never end?


<O:p</O:p

[gjg]

A dog is truly a man's best friend.

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.

When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?

[gjg]

A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, the French captured an English colonel.

They took him to their headquarters, and the French General began to question him. Finally, as an after Thought, the French general asked, "Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red Material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"

In his bland English way, the officer informed The general that the reason English officers wear Red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show, And the men they are leading won't panic.

And that is why, from that day to this, All French Army officers wear brown pants.......

[gjg]

7 kinds of Sex

Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex:

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.
This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you."

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex.
Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.(Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.
This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone

And;last, but not least, the 7th kind of sex is called:

Social Security Sex.

You get a little each month. But not enough to live on.

:applause:

[Benman]

And that is why, from that day to this, All French Army officers wear brown pants.......


So, soooo wrong...:applause: :applause:

Ben:addict:

[gjg]

So, soooo wrong...:applause: :applause:

Ben:addict:


yeah... and soooooo gooood .. :wo:

[gjg]

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.

The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

[gjg]

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water."

"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all, and we all have, or will, eat it. Would anyone care to guess what food causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

After several seconds of quiet, a small 75-year-old Jewish man in the front row, raised his hand and said, "Wedding Cake?"

:applause:

[Erik]

LOL!

http://www.rtin.org/babyinstruktioner/index.htm

[Benman]

Men have better friends then women :D


Friendship between Women:


A woman didn't come home one night.

The next morning she told her husband
that she had slept over at a friend's house.

The man called his wife's 10 best friends.

None of them knew anything about it.



Friendship between Men:


A man didn't come home one night.

The next morning he told his wife
that he had slept over at a friend's house.

The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.

Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over,
and two said that he was still there.

[JavierNuvolari]

Bwahahaha...wish I knew some jokes in english for you guys!! unfortunelly all I know are in spanish and it's just no the same to tell them in english.

Keep them coming!

ps. the baby jokes we awesome ROFL

[gjg]

Tribal wisdom of the Dakota indians.

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.

Tribal wisdom of modern business.

However, in modern business, because of the heavy investment factor to be taken into consideration, other strategies have to be tried with dead horses, including the following:

1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Threatening the horse with termination
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Lowering the standards so dead horses can be included.
7. Appointing an intervention team to reanimate the dead horse.
8. Creating a training session to increase the rider's load share.
9. Reclassifying the dead horse as 'living-impaired'.
10. Change the form so that it reads: "This horse is not dead."
11. Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
12. Harness several dead horses together for increased speed.
13. Donate the dead horse to a recognised charity, thereby deducting full original cost.
14. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance
15. Do a time management study to see if lighter riders would improve productivity.
16. Purchase an after-market product to make dead horses run faster.
17. Declare that a dead horse has lower overhead and therefore performs better.
18. Form a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead horses.
19. Rewrite the expected performance requirements for horses.
20. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.

[The RS6]

OwnD

http://img357.imageshack.us/img357/7140/oops2va2.jpg

[Ti-Mike]

A female reporter, interviewing an American Indian chief, asked the significance of the varied number of feathers in Indian headdresses.

Feathers show number of sexual partners', the chief replied.

Indicating a nearby young brave, he continued, 'Him? One woman, one feather.

Him?' pointing to a second, older man, 'Three women, three feathers.'

The reporter looked at the Chief's headdress. 'But you have so many feathers!'

The Chief proudly slapped his chest. 'Me Chief. Sleep with all women. Big, small, fat, tall.'

Horrified, the female reporter said, 'You ought to be hung!'

The Chief said, 'Damn right. Me hung big like buffalo, long like snake.'

The offended reporter said, 'You don't have to be hostile!'

The Chief replied, 'Hoss-style, dog-style, wolf-style, any style!'

The reporter cried, 'Oh, dear!'

'No deer', said the Chief. 'Ass too high, run too fast!'

[Ti-Mike]

She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.
He walked in; She turned and said,
You've got to make love to me this very moment.'
His eyes lit up and he thought,

'This is my lucky day.'
Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her
And then gave it his all;
Right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said,

'Thanks,'
And returned to the stove.
More than a little puzzled, he asked,

'What was that all about?'
She explained,
'The egg timer's broken.

[Ti-Mike]

Hi everybody,
Have you ever wondered how we swiss invented yodeling?
This is a non approved historical story,

This is how it goes:

Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland.

Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night.

The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.

As the story goes, the farmer's daughter asked her father, 'Who is that man going into the barn?'

'That fellow traveling through,' said the farmer. 'needs a place to stay for the night, so, I told him he could sleep in the barn.'

The daughter said, 'Perhaps he is hungry.' So she prepared him a plate of food for him and then took it out to the barn

About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled and straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.

The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn, and she too did not return for an hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed straight to bed.

The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.

When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. 'How could he leave without even saying good-bye,' she cried. 'We made such passionate love last night!'

'What?' shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.

The farmer screamed up at him, 'I'm going to get you! You had sex with my daughter!'

The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out.....





'LAIDTHEOLADEETOO'

[Benman]

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.

2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

:D

Ben:addict:

[Damienr8]

LOL, this made me laugh alot. :jlol:


http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2416/2201688044_b9a72418e2_o.jpg

[Benman]

LOL, this made me laugh alot. :jlol:





Best post here yet!!!:applause:

Ben:addict:

[JavierNuvolari]

Hahahahha.....

[Erik]

http://www.xpl.se/snygg-parkering-av-bobcat.html

[gjg]

A young lawyer was driving his new Lexus when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He stopped and got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?", he asked one man.
We don't have any money for food.", the poor man replied.
Oh, come along with me then.", said the lawyer.
"But sir, I have a wife with two children!" "Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to the other man.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man said.
"Bring them as well!", said the lawyer.
The lawyer called his wife and asked her to come over and take the second man's family. They all climbed into the cars. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet high!"

[Erik]

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=487_1205349914 Harleys...

[Damienr8]

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=487_1205349914 Harleys...

LOL that was a huge fail

[Benman]

Some sweet stuff! :applause:


P.S. George, don't try that on your NC ride. ;)

Ben:addict:

[Erik]

But LOL!

Drunk dancer
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-489885651925767878

"Evolution of Dance"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg

[gjg]

Some sweet stuff! :applause:


P.S. George, don't try that on your NC ride. ;)

Ben:addict:

I'm taking my custom bike for that ride ....

[Audifan92]

This is funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHQ_PUEGUe8

[Erik]

At least the car is clean... :D

http://www.afhakers.nl/media.asp?x=10195

[Michaël Barbé]

At least the car is clean... :D

http://www.afhakers.nl/media.asp?x=10195

What the hell is she doing!! The whole car is going to rot from the inside out! Give the French little bastard a break here!

MB
:rs6kiss:

[Benman]

At least the car is clean... :D

http://www.afhakers.nl/media.asp?x=10195

So it looks like America is not the only country filled with morons... ;)

Ben:addict:

[another Russian]

<object height="344" width="425">

<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/AOzkN8dHnjk" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="344" width="425"></object>
:applause::applause::applause:

[Erik]

:D http://imagechan.com/images/baby%20lick.gif :D

[Damienr8]

:D http://imagechan.com/images/baby%20lick.gif :D

ROFLMAO hahaha :jlol:

http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/9366/horatioza6.jpg
http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/6396/226575796ru0.jpg
http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/9121/43780589fd4.png
http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/1003/roflka3.png

[itisme]

http://www.abload.de/img/ht2kvt.png

[Benman]

:applause: :applause: ^^^^ :applause: :applause:

[itisme]

:applause: :applause: ^^^^ :applause: :applause:

if it's not working, try this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8Ka3N_3B8o

if it's still not working, I at least did my very best :)


:cheers:

;)

[Benman]

if it's not working, try this link...




LOL!

Ok, I know this is political humor, but trust me, it is bipartisan and does not violate forum rules. But it is funny as hell. :D

http://www.lewrockwell.com:80/blog/lewrw/archives/021786.html

Ben:addict:

[itisme]

jump over to youtube and watch the topgear challange of cheap alfa romeo's....

soooooooooo entertaining and sooooo much fun to watch...

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/keiP76TS7I0&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/keiP76TS7I0&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

part 3 and 4 are the one's you must!! watch!

[Z07]

LOL, this made me laugh alot. :jlol:

[Erik]

http://www.flickr.com/photos/27573268@N07/2762930048/sizes/o/

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3094/2762930048_edf97bba77_o.jpg

[Duma]

http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/230/unexplainableqv6.jpg

[Duma]

http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/2730/smile1ld0.jpg


http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/9222/megaflicksip0.jpg

http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w111/djloco81/Funny%20Pics/image030.jpg

[Duma]

http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/2999/1219049081518ox0.jpg
:lovl: :lovl: :lovl: :lovl:



http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/4039/1219052489445gr9.jpg


http://img522.imageshack.us/img522/8874/12186990639181hc5.jpg

[JavierNuvolari]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA....LOL, I just LOL @ the office hahah....great thread.

[Benman]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA....LOL, I just LOL @ the office hahah....great thread.
DITTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!:applause: :applause:

Ben:addict:

[Erik]

Ben, and all Americans, any comments on the Georgia being invaded posted above? :D

Seen any Russian tanks lately?

(for some reason Yahoo Answers removed the original thread)

[Benman]

Ben, and all Americans...

They say all humor stems from tradegy...

The sad thing is my grandmother and aunt lived there a few years... and yes, I met some people who would have fallen for that... sad, but DAMN funny! :applause:

Ben:addict:

[Erik]

The sad thing is my grandmother and aunt lived there a few years...

Where, in state of Georgia or the nation of Georgia? :hihi: And did she see any Russian tanks? :D

On a serious side, I've been to Atlanta and had quite some fun in Savannah where a friend studied a couple fo years.

[Benman]

LOL! ... No... they lived in more... well... one could say backwoods area. ;)

Ben:addict:

[gjg]

LOL! ... No... they lived in more... well... one could say backwoods area. ;)

Ben:addict:

oh, ever so polite, ben ..... :blush:

[Erik]

How to Get Into Any Club
http://www.5min.com/Video/How-to-Get-Into-Any-Club-14234755

[Duma]

http://postavi.com/images/hjo1yzfdx0m9f44mya8z.jpg

[liwi]

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast
implant that can store and play music. The iTit
will cost from £499 to £699, depending on cup and
speaker size.

This is considered a major social breakthrough,
because women are always complaining about men
staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

[liwi]

A BOTTLE OF MERLOT


A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually

attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.

So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the

gentleman who is seated over there.' and indicated the sender with a

nod of his head.


She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the

man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note..

The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note

from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.


The note read:

'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your

garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants'.



After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in

return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed

him to deliver it to the lady.


It read:

'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I

have a Ferrari Maranello, AUDI RS6, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo

in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen , Miami , and

a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana. There is over twenty million

dollars in my bank account and portfolio.. But, not even for a woman

as beautiful as you are, would I cut off three inches. Just send the

bottle back.'

[Erik]

http://forums.overclockers.com.au/showthread.php?t=648654

:D

[itisme]

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7E1cfr1Dqu8&hl=de&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7E1cfr1Dqu8&hl=de&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

gosh :doh: :D:D:D:D:D... I still have tears in my eyes :applause:

[gjg]

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, & the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table.

The wife asks, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," sighs the husband: "She's my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

[gjg]

Two good ole boys down in Alabama were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer...

After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If' I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin', and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"

The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head,and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.

Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it sure would make us even."

:applause:

[Erik]

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/duty_calls.png

Football
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_C3ZGkjeL-U

[Erik]

No fake sadness here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLJiIa2EsbQ&eurl

[Erik]

Fat people...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-CXwgifA4U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xu2HMo63nyU

[Erik]

How to win in NASCAR

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/nascar_coach_reveals_winning?utm_source=EMTF_Onion

[Erik]

Pics taken at just the right moment

http://forum.football365.com/index.php?t=msg&th=697

[Erik]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGAuMYQN9gA

[Leadfoot]

Two couples decide to swap partners at a swingers party. After 3 hours of animalistic sex Paddy says "That was the best sex I have ever had in my entire life!", "I wonder how the girls are getting on?" :hihi:

[Damienr8]

Two couples decide to swap partners at a swingers party. After 3 hours of animalistic sex Paddy says "That was the best sex I have ever had in my entire life!", "I wonder how the girls are getting on?" :hihi:

LOL Gross EWWWW lololol :jlol:

[gjg]

The Reverend John Bush was the pastor in a small town in Australia. One day he was walking down the high street when he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a bar drinking beer. The Reverend wasn't happy!

He walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman. "Miss Fitzgerald," he said sternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"

"Sure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.

When Miss Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The Reverend realized that she'd had far too much to drink and grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance
and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few moments, the Reverend wound up on top of Miss Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.

The bartender looked over and said, "Oy mate, we won't have any of that carrying on in this bar."

The Reverend looked up at the landlord and said, "But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Bush."

The landlord nodded and said, "Ah well, if you're that far in, ye might as well finish."

[Damienr8]

The Reverend John Bush was the pastor in a small town in Australia. One day he was walking down the high street when he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a bar drinking beer. The Reverend wasn't happy!

He walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman. "Miss Fitzgerald," he said sternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"

"Sure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.

When Miss Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The Reverend realized that she'd had far too much to drink and grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance
and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few moments, the Reverend wound up on top of Miss Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.

The bartender looked over and said, "Oy mate, we won't have any of that carrying on in this bar."

The Reverend looked up at the landlord and said, "But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Bush."

The landlord nodded and said, "Ah well, if you're that far in, ye might as well finish."




HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! :lovl:

[Leadfoot]

2 priests in the showers one night, they realise there's no soap. Naked, Father John sneaks back to his rooms to get some, grabbing two bars of soap 1 in each hand and heads back to the showers. Halfway down the hall three nuns round to corner in front of him, with nowhere to hide Father John pretends to be a statue!

The nuns can't believe how lifelike he looks. The first nun pulls his manhood, startled he drops a bar of soap. 'Oh it's a soap dispenser!' says the nun, the second does the same and he drops the other bar of soap. The third nun keeps tugging, 'sweet Jesus' she says ..... 'HAND LOTION TOO!'

[Erik]

HPF turbo M3 dads first reactions :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa6_mO3NAO8

[JavierNuvolari]

HAHAHA LOL
"Robert....God dammit!!!" haha...excelent.

[Leadfoot]

HPF turbo M3 dads first reactions :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa6_mO3NAO8

Very funny, I could just imagine doing something similar to my dad.

I did remember taking an old girlfriend's father out in my then RS2000 and throwing it sideways around a few corners, needless to say that relationship didn't last long. :lovl:

[Damienr8]

HPF turbo M3 dads first reactions :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa6_mO3NAO8

OH man the DAD hahahahahahaahha. Great Post.

[Erik]

http://www.zatzy.com/photopost/watermark.php?file=500/55782Vad_t_nkte_VV.JPG

[JavierNuvolari]

I woke up kinda slow today....don,t get your pic Erik.

[Erik]

I woke up kinda slow today....don,t get your pic Erik.

Wanna follow the arrow?

Or use common sense?

[JavierNuvolari]

Wanna follow the arrow?

Or use common sense?

haha....told ya I was having sort of a slow day.

[Benman]

Murphy's lesser known laws:



1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.

8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.


:applause: :applause:

Ben:addict:

[Damienr8]

Diesel Safe For Work Porn

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/959872/

Its Safe for work.....but not really. I almost DIED laughing after seeing the Turntables and the Corn.

[JavierNuvolari]

Bwahahaha....LOL!!!, excelent man...simply excelent ;).

[Benman]

:applause: :applause: :applause:

[Erik]

Tired truckers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGna0V2m-RA :D

[gjg]

For Your Info:
If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago you would have $49.00 left.
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.
With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214.00 cash.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
It's called the 401-Keg

[Erik]

Know english?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoRD1wmvwUc&feature=related

[Leadfoot]

I have a few jokes for you all. They might be a bit politically incorrect but we are all adults and they are not sent be me to offend.

1/

After years of investigation into the 911 disaster they have concluded that the al qaeda were not responcable, it was the Irish.
Two carpenters, Paddy and Sean were working on the 44th floor replacing doors. The doors were too tall so Paddy told Sean to "Get a plane and take a bit off the top."

2/

Paddy at a disco. He asks a girl "How about a fu@k ?"
She replies "I'm on my menstrual cycle". "Great" replies Paddy "I'm on my scooter, I'll follow you home".

3/

When Bob was asked if he preferred legs or breast he told the stranger that actually he had a particular fondness for shaven fannies.
He was then informed that this wasn't an options with a KFC bargain bucket.

4/

Irish Exercism
Mother calls for the devil to get the Priest out of her son.

I know I am going to hell for this one.

[JavierNuvolari]

I LOLed ;), good ones.

[Damienr8]

LOL @ the disco joke hehehe

[Erik]

Disco joke :D

Kid crashes dad's superbike into car while showing off
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryeBu5D7Tkk&feature=related

[Leadfoot]

If that was my kid he wouldn't be able to sit on my bike ever again, in fact his ass would be so sore that I doubt he would be sitting for a while.

[Erik]

How the markets really work (from 2007)

How did these comedians see it coming
when financial reporters did not?



http://www.brasschecktv.com/page/187.html

[Erik]

Webcam gone wrong

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESqvVaYAkRw&feature=related

[Erik]

http://noisydecentgraphics.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/10/13/img_0351.jpg

[Benman]

^^^ LOL!!! ^^^ :applause: :applause:

Ben:addict:

[Erik]

http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/476/082rp3.jpg

[RXBG]

here goes.

in the days of slavery poor slaves were not allowed to learn to read or write for it was seen as dangerous and provocative to the slavery establishment. but one day a poor intelligent slave who had taught himself to read and write, and had been able to keep it secret, was asked to drive his owners into town.

as they approached a busy intersection the slave saw a stop sign and panicked about what to do. "if i stop they'll know i can read and they'll kill me," he said to himself, "but if i keep going we'll get nailed by somebody going through the intersection!" baffled he did the only thing he could- he kept going. sure enough, BAM!, they get hit by a passing carriage.

when the dust settles his owner starts yelling at him. "what the hell is the matter with you!!!!? didn't you see the stop sign back there? you almost killed us!!!"

"uh sign? what sign? the slave asks.

"the sign back there you imbecil! that one there!" his owner points furiously.

"oh, you mean the red octagon?"

the owner pauses and looks at him.

"wtf..... how do you know the word 'octagon'?"

[Benman]

:applause: :applause:

[Erik]

Yooo, my Opel Kadett...F*ck BMW!

Cars are VERY expensive in Denmark.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xUNrhJ4HaFI&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xUNrhJ4HaFI&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[Erik]

Clarkson Island

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMuO-8S_0Wg

[The RS6]

http://www.funwithmccain.com/

NHF Anyone :D

[JavierNuvolari]

http://www.funwithmccain.com/

NHF Anyone :D


Bwahahhaa....first time I saw that pic on the newspaper I said to myself...." this is going to bring a LOT of gifs..." haha...

[Erik]

Quote of the day (from a trader): "This is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife."


Q What's the difference between an Investment Banker and a Pizza?
A The Pizza can feed a family of four

Q Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
A Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon

Q What's the capital of Iceland?
A About £3.50

Q What's the difference between Investment Bankers and London Pigeons?
A The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMWs

[Erik]

hehe

http://s118.photobucket.com/albums/o120/dbphoto69/?action=view&current=BestManCompletelyRuinsWedding.flv

[Erik]

Chairman cracks under pressure
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=fJbpNlzk6qQ&feature=related

[JavierNuvolari]

hehe

http://s118.photobucket.com/albums/o120/dbphoto69/?action=view&current=BestManCompletelyRuinsWedding.flv


HAHAHHA....poor girl....if I were the groom I would have jumped into the pool with her...

[Erik]

Wassup 2008

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Qq8Uc5BFogE :D

[The RS6]

America in crisis... investment analyst and entrepreneur Dr. Marc Faber concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008) with the following:

The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in US. I’ve been doing my part.

[Erik]

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/gizmodo/2008/10/muppet-at-the-wheel.jpg

http://gizmodo.com/5069422/the-muppets-animal-caught-speeding-driving-police-crazy

Yes, the photo above is real: It is Animal—from The Muppets—driving a British Audi while speeding through a German road. The famous pink drummer is driving the police there absolutely crazy, because he keeps doing it again and again. Or better said, the real driver is, using a low-tech approach to take advantage of a weak point of the radar cameras. I don't know about you, but this image makes me laugh out loud. The German police, however, wasn't amused when they explained to the press how the whole joke worked and how they couldn't fine the driver because of it:

The number plate is not enough [to catch and fine the driver]. We need clear evidence of who is driving the vehicle too. But because this is a British vehicle we can never get a decent picture [because the radar cameras are designed to take photos of the passengers in the left seat, not the right]. The driver has obviously worked this out because he has placed a large puppet in the passenger seat.

This may be an example of the famous British sense of humour but it is still dangerous driving. The driver has been caught on camera on several occasions and the puppet is on the passenger seat every time. We suspect he positions the toy deliberately before accelerating past the camera.

[Z07]

http://fotos.subefotos.com/a984babe3db3feffe4e295c5e18197cfo.gif

[JavierNuvolari]

[IMG]http://fotos.subefotos.com/a984babe3db3feffe4e295c5e18197cfo.gif

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....LOL.

[Erik]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwOXLrW7zG4

[Ruergard]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwOXLrW7zG4

Hahhahah! :jlol:

[Erik]

Watch out!

http://www.officialdatingresource.com/beware-the-dreaded-myspace-angles-pics/

[gjg]

A little girl asked her father, 'How did the human race appear?'
The father answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.'
Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question.
The mother answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'
The confused girl returned to her father and said, 'Dad how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Mom said they developed from monkeys?'
The father answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your mother told you about hers.'

[Duma]

http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll27/holololo/289.gif

[Duma]

http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/1371/kbzncjercqxwczhqh7cj8.gif

[Duma]

http://i35.tinypic.com/2zimrzk.jpg

[Duma]

http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/5751/sd9ppnnowc3.gif

[Duma]

http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll27/holololo/532.gif

[Duma]

http://s6b.directupload.net/images/081016/zknkwzbj.gif

[JavierNuvolari]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA.....

Thanks Duma, your posts just made my day:applause: :cheers: .

Saludos.

[Duma]

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/40/Startrek-BSoD.gif

[Duma]

http://91.121.132.199/gifs/2379.gif

[Duma]

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii40/asadamaloja/sp-007.jpg
http://pixdaus.com/pics/1216754649snqqbeg.jpg

[Duma]

http://chickencrap.com/images/772.jpg
http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/9818/385hp7.jpg


http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j205/kessie_2006/e3cce.gif

[Leadfoot]

Erik, please don't BAN me for this joke. :0:

GARDENER SACKED AT WHITE HOUSE

It has been reported that the gardener of fifty years has been sacked from the White House. On protesting his innocence, he is reported as saying 'Honestly I did nothing wrong, all I did was go into the Oval Office and ask if anyone had seen the shape?"

[Benman]

LOVE the Data Microsoft one! LOL!!! :applause:

Ben:addict:

[Erik]

Take a few minutes to read this one :D

http://www.quoted4truth.com/articles/I-do-not-have-any-money-so-am-sending-you-this-drawing-I-did-of-a-spider-instead

[Erik]

Danish language :D ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-mOy8VUEBk

[Erik]

Invisible Rope 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_15G4Y11dY

invisible rope :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrwrQoRxzxo

[darkart]

Invisible Rope 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_15G4Y11dY


:hihi: :hihi: :hihi:

I love this "Summer time"!

[Leadfoot]

Erik, please don't BAN me for this joke. :0:

GARDENER SACKED AT WHITE HOUSE

It has been reported that the gardener of fifty years has been sacked from the White House. On protesting his innocence, he is reported as saying 'Honestly I did nothing wrong, all I did was go into the Oval Office and ask if anyone had seen the spade?"

Fixed. :blush:

[JavierNuvolari]

Take a few minutes to read this one :D

http://www.quoted4truth.com/articles/I-do-not-have-any-money-so-am-sending-you-this-drawing-I-did-of-a-spider-instead

Gold, simply gold.:hihi:

[Erik]

Here's another one that will keep you busy for a while :D

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=111777031

[Ruergard]

I don't know if I should laugh or cry....... :D


:applause:

[Duma]

http://img520.imageshack.us/img520/9443/1226572625329mb7.jpg

[Duma]

http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/5153/1226572122294lg6.jpg

[Duma]

http://photofile.ru/photo/fishki_net/3651479/81366487.jpg

[Duma]

http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/541/1226399162816yq6.jpg

[Duma]

http://static.pyzam.com/img/funnypics/6/teamwork.jpg

[Benman]

Here's another one that will keep you busy for a while :D

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=111777031

Post of the Year!

Although the Fat Boy Spidey was a close second... :cheers:

Ben:addict:

[Rutkowsky]

that link has gone round all of the internet boards it seems! :o

[Leadfoot]

that link has gone round all of the internet boards it seems! :o

You ain't kidding. My manager of my store runs a website for Kawasaki Z riders and he was commenting on it a week or two ago, before it was on here.

I feel sorry for that poor girl, those guys were acting like primary school children.

[Rutkowsky]

:hihi: yeah, i've seen it on three other sites!! ..and you're right, that's a silly joke they played on that girl.. i'm sure she didn't give consent for posting those pictures!

[Duma]

http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/9493/faceplant33nwgj4.gif

[Erik]

LOL! :D

http://idiot.se/bilder/beomhjalp.jpg

[Erik]

Hot Dog

http://idiot.se/bilder/hotdog.jpg

[The RS6]

LOL! :D

http://idiot.se/bilder/beomhjalp.jpg

hahahahahahah LOOL I haven't laughed so hard for ages! Thanks :D LOOL

[Mockenrue]

Watch this first.......ahh, cute:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=z3U0udLH974

Now, the translation:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1JynBEX_kg8&feature=related

:D

[darkart]

LOL! :D

http://idiot.se/bilder/beomhjalp.jpg

the porn killed it! real fun.
___________________

Those cats .... hahahah!

[Erik]

Give this some time, or fast forward... HELL!

http://www.break.com/index/are-we-having-fun-yet1.html

[Mockenrue]

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE


NICKNAMES...
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


EATING OUT...When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though the bill is only £48.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators!

MONEY...A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.

A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOMS...A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these.


ARGUMENTS...A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


THE FUTURE...A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife!


SUCCESS...
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


MARRIAGE...
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DRESSING UP...A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book or get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


NATURALLY...Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING...
Ah... children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY...A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!<o>:p></o>:p>

[Leadfoot]

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?'

The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.'

'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered me!'

'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird.'

'Oh yeah?' the guy asks, 'Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?'

'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers.'

'Wow,' says the guy. 'You really can understand and speak English can't you?'

'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion.'

The guy looks at the $2,000 price tag. 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'

'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20. Just make the guy an offer!'

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot..

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing. 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman.'

'What are you talking about?' asks the guy.
'When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie.'

'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN what happened?'

'Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.

'NO!' he exclaims. 'And she let him?'

'Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over....'
Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?'


'Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!'

[Leadfoot]

Hoax warnings don't usually scare me, but this one is important.
If someone comes to your front door and says they are conducting a survey and asks you to show them your arse, DO NOT show them your arse.
This is a scam; they just want to see your arse.
I wish I'd got this yesterday. I feel so stupid and cheap.

[Leadfoot]

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and still heavily sedated from a four hour operation.
A young nurse comes in to sponge his hands and feet. Nurse", he mumbles groggily from behind the oxygen mask, "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet."
He struggles again to ask, "Please tell me, Are my testicles black?"
Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his privates and jiggles them around a bit, takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask and says very slowly,
"That was very nice but listen very, very closely-
are... my... test...results...back?

[Leadfoot]

A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years.

One day, he sees a speck in the horizon.

He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship."

The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat."

The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft."

Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit
and scuba gear.

She comes up to the guy and she says, "How long has it been since you've had
a cigarette?"

"Ten years!" he says.

She reaches over, unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls
out a pack of fresh cigarettes.

He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that
good!"

Then she asks, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"

He replies, "Ten years!"

She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a
flask and gives it to him.

He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!"

Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her
wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had
some REAL fun?"

And the man replies, "My God! Don't tell me you've got a motorcycle in
there!"

[Erik]

http://www.106owners.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=68729 :D

[JavierNuvolari]

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and still heavily sedated from a four hour operation.
A young nurse comes in to sponge his hands and feet. Nurse", he mumbles groggily from behind the oxygen mask, "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet."
He struggles again to ask, "Please tell me, Are my testicles black?"
Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his privates and jiggles them around a bit, takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask and says very slowly,
"That was very nice but listen very, very closely-
are... my... test...results...back?


LOL, very good ;)

[Ruergard]

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and still heavily sedated from a four hour operation.
A young nurse comes in to sponge his hands and feet. Nurse", he mumbles groggily from behind the oxygen mask, "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet."
He struggles again to ask, "Please tell me, Are my testicles black?"
Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his privates and jiggles them around a bit, takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask and says very slowly,
"That was very nice but listen very, very closely-
are... my... test...results...back?

Haha, good one! :applause:

[Leadfoot]

I have lots more though they are more video or photo than actual jokes. Will try and upload them soon.

[darkart]

Very nice, Leadfoot! Thanks for sharing this jokes :)

[Duma]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v85/jim78/punchy.gif

[Duma]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v191/shibblewhip/rofltreadmill.gif

[Duma]

http://i36.tinypic.com/t0njoz.gif
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y186/S4V4G3/wake_up.gif

[Duma]

http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v849/139/20/1010994795/n1010994795_30198192_8214.jpg

[Benman]

Awesome guys, awesome! :applause:

Ben:addict:

[Leadfoot]

Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted



A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "Now don't you be start anything."



A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here."



A Dyslexic man walks into a bra.



A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "A pint for me, and one for the road."



Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"



Man with a strawberry stuck up his bum goes to the doc. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."



Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'. "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." The man asks "Is it common?". Doc replies "It's not unusual."



Answer phone message "....If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...."



Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.



I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.



I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'



My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.

[Leadfoot]

A young man called Paul wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's Christmas present and as they had not been dating for very long, after careful consideration, he decided that a pair of gloves would strike the right note, not too romantic and not too personal.

Accompanied by his sweetheart's sister he went to Harrods and bought a dainty pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself at the same time. During the wrapping the shop assistant made a mistake and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties.

Without checking the contents the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:

"Dear Maria,

I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove.

These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair that she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled at all.

I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart even though they were a little tight on her. She also told me that her pair helps to keep her ring clean and shiny, in fact she had not needed to wash it since she had begun wearing them.

I wish I were there to put them on for you for the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again.

When you take them off remember to blow into them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year. I hope that you will wear them for me on Friday night."

All my love

Paul

P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.

[Leadfoot]

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace prize.

Borrow money from pessimists; they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so
I made your horn louder."

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body that is required to be on it.

[Erik]

http://www.krikey.nildram.co.uk/gtfo.gif

http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/4696/playmonp1.gif

http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/1363/3c34966769fc3a50e17288dms0.gif

[Mockenrue]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/children-to-be-taught-why-women-are-out-of-their-minds-200810231348/

[Erik]

Fonejacker: I want be model
http://www.e4.com/video/4b8zTkzibsMbmY2zDEJzfU/play.e4 :D

[Erik]

Parking in pool

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHnncen14b0&feature=related

[Leadfoot]

Very funny commercial. :lovl:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LX95daYgmdA

[Erik]

http://img224.imageshack.us/img224/4391/lucjkxy6.jpg

[Mockenrue]

HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girl friend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in <st1><st1:city w:st="on">Oxford</st1:city></st1>:

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares ... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the House wares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the anti-depressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible' theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:


14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.’<o></o>

[rubyblack]

anon.....

[Erik]

Mother of Invention Audition Tape

http://www.break.com/index/mother-of-invention-audition-tape1.html

[Erik]

http://www.kentomatic.com/funny-motivational-and-life-lesson-pictures

[JavierNuvolari]

I lol'ed....big time.

I gotta keep out of this thread while I'm at work.

[Erik]

That's a flag, and?

http://www.porscheklubben.se/ed/mess/237373/flaggstng.jpg

[Erik]

http://www.kossan.se/roliga-filmer/vaegrar_bli_bogserad.htm good one

[rubyblack]

That's a flag, and?

http://www.porscheklubben.se/ed/mess/237373/flaggstng.jpg

I hope to Christ that's a thumb and not his dangly bit!!!!!! :rolleyes:

[Erik]

For our german friends

http://www.frau-am-steuer.de/

[Erik]

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1886349 good one

[Erik]

The secret to getting a multibillion-industry

http://cerberus.mirror.waffleimages.com/files/d0/d0d6f2240f198a04946c7b8ff012a1975af48bb9.jpg

[Erik]

:rolleyes: :noshake: :rolleyes:

http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v1421/82/51/874720474/n874720474_5242226_9894.jpg

[Erik]

http://vash.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Anims/bushoes.gif

http://www.tehupload.com/uploads/7600988b4d13358122934142923.gif

[Benman]

^^^ Haha... Good one!

And I give him credit for awesome reflexes. I mean, we're not talking some 18 year old athlete... Skull & Bones must teach some good "tactic" skills. LOL!

Ben

[Leadfoot]

^ Just imagine if that guy had a gun, he was able to throw two shoes at the President and not one bodyguard was on your man in a flash.

Where does Bush get them from?

Security'R'US.

[Erik]

OK, a few more then :D

People have too much time, haha

http://i35.tinypic.com/54sks0.jpg

http://www.ashlyn.plus.com/gifs/snowball.gif

Hmm...

http://halk.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/if.gif

[darkart]

Hahahaha. Oh those americans!

[Erik]

http://www.break.com/pranks/Dell_QVC_Porn_Prank.html :D